Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
