she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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