Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
