White coat. Heels.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize