I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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