lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
