I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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