He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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