you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
A+ Viking dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize