But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
