is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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