I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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