O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
