In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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