I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize