HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
