fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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