brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
