i permit you to call me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
