I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
there's paper in my vomit.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
