hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
