Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize