At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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