You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
