You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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