She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
