yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
