he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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