Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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