I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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