Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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