He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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