Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
