your thong is hanging out like whoa
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
