ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
