It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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