so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
