I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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