i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
