as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
