Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
