i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
