Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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