my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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