Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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