and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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