oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize