my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
