I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
