i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
