Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
