ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize