He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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