I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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