Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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