Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You don't make any sense
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