Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
