he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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