She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
