I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I deserve this hangover.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
