you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
