the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
sex in a hospital.. check
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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