that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
