the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
