Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize