so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
