Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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